Joe's Tavern -- Bethlehem, PA

This place was fun!  Uhm, what you remember of it.  I'm not sure what scope of law covers it, but smoking is permitted indoors at this place.  The bartender said they're grandfathered in, somehow.  Nice locals drinking here.  There's a TouchTunes jukebox, and no clear winner in terms of most-played genre.  Now, where can I find a cleaner to get the smell out of everything I was wearing?

Yamhill Pub -- Portland, OR

Finally, a dive bar that doesn't need that in quotes.  The floor is messed up, the seats have stuffing coming out of them, the guy on your left just arranged to sleep on the couch of his friend three seats down on your right.  Some other customers are matter-of-factly discussing needing to find some coke.  Also, there's a pinball machine.  And it's two blocks from the Hotel Rose.

Westin Washington Dulles -- Herndon, VA

You can do better.  (I don't care how convenient this place looks on a map.)  For instance:

* They charge $10 a day for wifi
* There is an air vent in your room that is always running its fan, no matter what.
* The bar has a weird muzak channel that basically plays soul-less covers of pop.  Cuban Coldplay!
* There is nothing nearby.  You must drive.

This could be your fall-back.  But not your first choice.